


Lean In

by janezy



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Alice is not the enemy, Canon Compliant, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Through 4.12, for queliot shippers at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 18:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18429458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janezy/pseuds/janezy
Summary: Who would Quentin choose, if he were really given a choice?





	Lean In

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what's going to happen next week. I am actually mildly terrified that it's going to be one of my boys getting greeted by Penny in the Underworld. But I absolutely couldn't let Quentin and Alice maybe sort of getting back together stand. I'm all for Alice's redemption, and it's not like Quentin hasn't made horrible mistakes, too. But that doesn't mean they will make a good couple now that they've grown up a bit.

At first, Eliot didn't even notice. Well, at first, he was mostly just sleeping. But even as his wakeful times increased to hours per day, it took a while to notice. Alice was always around the loft. He didn't think she lived there, but she may as well have. And she was frequently found hovering near Quentin. Looking like she wanted to say something and just couldn't quite get up the nerve. Reaching out to touch, but pulling back before he saw. Fussing over him and being rebuffed.

Margo said they got back together. And his first thought was of course they did. It was nothing less than what he'd expected all along. Nothing less than the reason that he'd . . . Well, in any case, it was a mixed blessing that he'd spent so long away. Now he wouldn't have to have that conversation with Quentin. He wouldn't have to actually follow through with his promises to himself. Like all the times he'd been so hungover he'd wanted to die and promised some nameless god to just get him through and he'd never drink again, only to find himself in the exact same predicament a week later.

But, they seem different somehow. Quentin used to be the one following after Alice like a puppy desperate for approval. Alice used to be the one too busy to acknowledge him. Not that she didn't love him back. Just that, he wasn't her first priority.

Now, their roles seemed to have reversed. Sure, Quentin smiled at her. But, was it the same smile he used to give her? Was it the smile Eliot used to see pointed at himself? Quentin kissed her, but it was more like he let himself be kissed. The Quentin that Eliot knew before would be the one to lean in. Now, that was Alice's job.

Eliot knew there was a time when all Quentin wanted was to get back together with Alice. For her to be exactly as she was now. But, Quentin didn't seem happy to get what he'd always wanted.

Today, there is a weird lull in all the activity that has been going on for weeks at the apartment. Eliot has only half been paying attention, but shit is going down with the hedges and almost everybody is out there doing . . . something. He knows they told him, but he wasn't really listening beyond knowing that he wouldn't be able to help since his magic was still fritzing out post-possession.

Quentin is the only one that didn't go with them, staying behind to research, they said, but Eliot suspects he's really playing babysitter. He is sitting at the kitchen island, flipping through the books spread out before him with glassy eyes. His shoulders look like they're trying to merge with his ears and he keeps pulling his hair. He has a full bowl of dry cereal next to him, but hasn't touched it. Eliot leans against the counter on the other side of the island and takes a moment to stare at him, knowing that there is no one here to call him out on it. 

Just because he's not going to get to be the one that Quentin loves anymore doesn't mean he doesn't care. So, he'll help.

"Why are you doing all the research?" Eliot asks. "I'm sure Alice," (and Eliot notices the small tick of Quentin's head at the mention of her name) "would help."

"She would," Quentin says, not looking up. "But she's helping Kady with the worms."

"Okay. Pass me a book. I'll help," Eliot says, motioning with his hands.

Quentin finally looks up and Eliot feels like he's being examined under a microscope. "It's fine," Quentin says after a bit. "There's probably nothing in here anyway. Zelda's still trying to get the books we really need from the McAllisters. Without them knowing who needs them or why."

"Still," Eliot pushes. "I can't do magic right now, but I can read." He reaches across the island for a book and Quentin slaps his hand gently. Like he used to do every time Eliot would reach across the table to try to steal food from his plate. He would try and get slapped, and then Quentin would push his plate toward Eliot. And when Eliot took the offered food, Quentin would lean across and kiss him. Quentin would always lean in. And that's when Eliot looks up and sees it. That smile. That fond look that he thought he would maybe never get to see again.

Be brave, he tells himself. You promised.

"You know," Eliot says, "it occurs to me that you don't often get to choose." Quentin's smile falls. His bows his head and stays silent, but keeps looking at Eliot through the fringe of his ever-growing hair. "You keep getting stuck with the choices other people make. Like when I made the stupid choice to lie to you and say that I didn't think we should try to make what we had at the mosaic work again. And I said we wouldn't choose each other. But, what if you did have that choice? What if you could stay with Alice, or you could -- "

" -- You!" Quentin bursts in, then seems surprised at himself. He laughs a bit and shrugs unapologetically. "I would choose you. If you gave me the choice. Always."

Eliot feels his heart racing. "And if I tell you that I love you? And I miss you? And I can't seem to figure out how to get over you?"

"Are you telling me that?" Quentin asks, leaning over the books.

Eliot meets him halfway and pulls him into a kiss. He feels Quentin sigh against his lips and relax into it. Eliot wants to kiss him for hours. For days. Forever. But Quentin pulls back. His eyes are full of wonder and he brings a hand to his smiling lips, touching them like he almost can't believe what is happening.

"I need to talk to Alice," Quentin says. "Break up with her the right way this time. She deserves that, at least."

"And then?" Eliot asks.

"I'm going to choose you every day for as long as you let me," Quentin replies simply. He reaches a hand across the island and Eliot takes it, bringing it to his lips.

"I always think forever sounds disgusting when other people say it," Eliot says, "But I kinda want to say it."

"And I kinda want to be disgusting right with you," Quentin says, then realizes the double entendre of it and throws in an eyebrow waggle for good measure.

They both laugh until they are gasping for breath. Then Quentin straightens and passes Eliot a book. And when Eliot takes it, Quentin leans in and pecks him on the lips. And neither of them say forever but they both want to, and that's what counts.


End file.
